The Heartbeat Never Lies
by Ongaku no Usagi
Summary: What really goes on inside Senritsu's head?


Disclaimer: I do not own Hunter X Hunter. It belongs to Togashi Yoshihiro.

OMG, here he comes. That person. That wonderful, terrible, and very attractive person.

I know what's going to happen now. He'll pass by me with a brief smile or nod. Maybe he'll say hi if he thinks it's worth his time.

And I? Will I be able to do any more than smile cheerfully, as always? For I am Senritsu; I am always serene.

I think it is part of that curse. You know, that curse. Bloody Sonata of Darkness. Bloody whiskey, for that matter. It didn't matter that I was underage at the time. I was trying to impress What's-His-Face, that flute player. He's dead now. And I...I'm dead now to every attractive guy who ever walked past me. It wouldn't matter if it weren't for that attractive guy who at this very minute is about to walk past me.

Mm, tasty. His hair is the color of bananas. I like bananas.

Does it make me a pedophile if I think he's tasty? Oh, hell with it.

If I got my original form back, would I have aged properly, or would I still be 16, the age I was then?

He's about to walk past, old girl! Say something! Let him know how you feel!

Nnngghh...

Oh, well done, he's already past. Catch up with him, silly old girl.

(Here Senritsu gives herself a mental shove.)

"Kurapika..."

He pauses, he turns. Good God, he's gorgeous! Okay, okay, time to work some magic...

"Your heartbeat today, it's like a gentle beam of sunlight that falls through a stream, with bending and refracting rays."

YOU. OLD. IDIOT! Not that heartbeat stuff again! Do you have any idea how boring that must be? Quick, make a comment to patch it up.

"Such a heartbeat is comforting."

Something NORMAL, Senritsu!

"...did something good happen to you today?"

He glances down, smiling. So CUTE! OMG. What a smile. The chains on his right hand disappear momentarily. "Yes, I got in contact with one of my friends today."

"Leorio?"

"No, Gon. You remember him?"

How could I forget Gon-kun? Of all the people I've met, I've never met such a determined heartbeat. If he wanted something, he'd work hard enough to get it. "Yes, I remember Gon-kun. Is he still with Killua-kun?"

"Yes."

"Are they managing to stay out of trouble?"

This time, he laughs. He has a very quiet laugh, sweet and understated. It's like the sound of copper windchimes in a playful breeze. "Those two? I'd worry about them if there weren't getting into trouble. They're in the middle of some strange game, I think. They wanted some information from me."

His face darkened. His heartbeat betrays that he's thinking about that man. The man with the horrifying heartbeat. The sound of the Death-Lover.

He keeps himself calm. I wanted so long to break him of that calm, to see what was underneath, the true Kurapika, but when it was broken...

Terrible, those eyes. Those scarlet eyes, like bloody flame. May I never see them again. At least not in his face. He's brought in two pairs that belonged to his fallen comrades, now. I don't know where he found them or how he obtained them. I haven't seen them since.

"Kurapika, are you feeling more secure now? You haven't worn the black contacts in awhile."

He draws a breath, lets it out slowly. Ah...watching his chest rise as he inhales, his shoulders relax as he exhales! I'm a dirty old woman pervert then, is that it? So be it!

He's coming a little closer, now. "It's nothing to worry about anymore," he assures me. "As long as I don't come in contact with the Genei Ryodan, I won't become overly emotional."

I laugh a little. "You're the person of three eye colors, Kurapika," I say. "It's almost as unique as your heartbeat."

"Come to thing of it, what color are your eyes?" he asks. He leans in for a closer look. I catch my breath. This Kurapika, this calm, beautiful person, stooping to see my eyes. Close enough that I could lean forward and kiss him...

He straightens back up. "They're solid gray," he says. "Like granite."

I smile sadly. "They used to be hazel," I say.

He looks a little surprised, as though he didn't think the curse would go so far as to change even my eyes. "And your hair?" he asks.

"Light brown. And it covered all my head," I say with a laugh.

"I see," he says. "Well, I should get going..." He begins to turn.

Say something! You idiot!

I'm not expecting what happens next. He turns around, smiles at me. A real smile. Not that half-baked nonsense he usually serves up. "Senritsu...thank you. For caring."

I wish I could blush. I wish I could get all giddy and nervous and run away giggling like a school girl. He thanked me. Kurapika thanked me.

But I am Senritsu, and I am always serene.

"You're welcome," I say with a smile.

He turns, continues walking down the corridor, soft foot falls like sweet viola music to my ears.

I swear, not for the first time since I laid eyes on that person: I will find that Sonata of Darkness, and destroy it. And show him my real form.


End file.
